Living Without Fear
Fear governs our lives; it is used in leadership, politics, experiments, parents, teaching, traffic laws, relationships, safety guidelines, and many more things that I currently cannot think of. My point is, if you aren't afraid at times in life... you might be already dead.
Or would you?
I am LUCKY to be at a job this summer where I can and have listened to podcast after podcast for hours and hours on end. I sit at a desk, mindlessly typing away, while my brain is being filled with stories and insights and reviews and mysteries and discoveries. Honestly, I have loved that aspect of this summer. I have learned something new every single day of my working summer, and it has definitely expanded my mindset on a few things (okay, a lot of things).
Knowing myself, mentions of those podcasts will make common appearances on this blog - because I think about them all the time! So let's start right now. I can say with confidence that this podcast is one of many that has given me a lasting impression.
Living without fear - is it possible? For most, no. But in this podcast, a lady that literally lives without fear is the shining star. Her name has yet to be released to the public for privacy reasons. They get into more detail in the podcast, but basically... the part of her brain that registers fear doesn't work. At first, it sounded ideal. It sounded freeing. I imagined the heights I would climb, the high dives I would jump off of at swimming pools (I hate going off of the high dive), the languages I would learn, and the new adventures I would try. Life would be full of energetic "yes"s and too-loud of laughs and carefree dancing in the streets. An absence of fear, I imagine, would also mean an absence of embarrassment.
Turns out, a life without fear isn't all it is cracked up to be. This woman has been in several abusive relationships, has been held at knife point and gun point several times, and has almost been killed in an abusive marriage. She uses logic to get out of such situations (example: if I walk into that street in front of that car, it could hit me and I could get hurt), but does not feel afraid, so is consistently finding herself in those situations.
Though I do not wish to live a life without any fear at all, I thought about this woman a lot. Her confidence and trust in the people around her were astounding. She talked to any and every scary looking person who spoke to her, and lived life assuming nobody was out to hurt her - and if they were, she wasn't afraid of them. Interesting, right? I aspire to live my life like that, but maybe a less extreme version.
On the way home from work that day, I was thinking about my lifelong dream of picking up someone walking on the side of the road. It might sound silly - but it is something I have always wanted to do. It's one of those things that I have been afraid of (and I mean, for good reasons. We all hear those scary stories.), especially since I typically drive alone and I am a twenty-two year old girl who can't even lift her own carry on into the overhead bin on a plane.
Anyway... while I was driving home, the people walking on the side of the road seemed to stick out to me. I kept thinking, "If I wasn't afraid, I would get to know you and you and you...". Finally, I decided I was going to do it. I saw a girl about my age walking home. I rolled down my window, and yelled: "Hey! Do you need a ride?" She looked at me and nodded. I pulled over and she got in my car. I drove her to the train station. She was from Uganda and absolutely beautiful. She had a contagious laugh and a glowing heart. We talked about our future goals, our families, God. We had many things in common.
After dropping her off, I drove back to my home - towards a bright sunset - and as I was watching the colors twist and turn and melt, I thought about how simple it was to overcome that fear. It happened in minutes. I was still safe. The world was good. The sky was beautiful.
I told my parents and my boyfriend this story, and they all had the same reaction: That's great, but don't start picking up everybody! Be careful, they said. I agree with them, of course. But recognizing how many things were holding me back purely because of fear (most of them not with potential dangers attached) was completely eye-opening.
It is said that fear is the opposite of faith. I hope that stopping to pick up that girl from Uganda is the beginning of a more faith-filled life.
Thanks for reading,
Kimber
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)