Something for Sundays: Fig trees, and other ways we are known
scripture-related thoughts + a poem
A lot of times when I write, I end up writing about faith, even if that’s not what I have set out to do in the first place. So here I am with my first Something for Sundays post (thank you, Jonny, for coming up with the perfect name!).
At the beginning of the year, I made it a goal to read the New Testament like a child - from beginning to end, open-minded, and seeing things in a fresh light. Though I dabbled here and there in the Bible before, I’ve never actually read it all the way through. I have quite a bit to go if I want to finish it by the end of the year, so we’ll see how it goes. This week I read John 1, and these verses stood out to me:
John 1:48-49 KJV
Nathanael saith unto him, Whence knowest thou me? Jesus answered and said unto him, Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee.
Nathanael answered and saith unto him, Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel.
Basically, Jesus is in the process of calling his disciples, and he calls this dude named Nathanael. Jesus is like, “Hey, guys! Nathanael’s here! He is super awesome!” and Nathanael is like, “Woah, man. How do you know me?”
Then Jesus gives this mysterious (to me, not to Nathanael) reply: “Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee.”
Immediately, Nathanael is like, “WOW. You really are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel!”
As the reader, I immediately have questions. Wait a minute, Jesus and Nathanael, what happened under the fig tree? Why is that fig tree so significant? How did Jesus’ knowledge of Nathanael under the fig tree prompt Nathanael to instantly believe in Jesus’ divinity?
There is no other chapter that gives context to this (that I know of… I am, obviously, not a scriptural expert or historian by any means), but it got me thinking about what God might know about me. What is my fig tree?
As humans, we love when people know things about us. Think about magicians — we choose a card from a deck, and when they guess the card right, we are immediately enamored. Or if a celebrity, say, Taylor Swift, uttered my name? I would remember that for the rest of my life.
But with Jesus, his mentioning of the fig tree with Nathanael feels more personal. It feels like prayer. It feels like Jesus is saying, “I saw you at your lowest of lows, I am with you in your personal moments, and I know who you are.”
In my imagining of this scene, a poem came up for me. One of the greatest things I have learned about God so far through reading the New Testament is His full knowing and full love. May we be held by both.
Under the Fig Tree
When I couldn’t take another step,
I collapsed.
Grasping at the roots,
My tears watered the
Soil beneath
When I gained my strength,
I hit, I clawed, I unleashed
My inner nature.
I carved profanity into
The worn flesh of the tree,
Gashing its side
I pulled at the leaves,
Braiding them into my hair
I ate the fruit ravenously
Fig juice staining the corners of my mouth
Dribbling down my chin
I whispered thoughts
I had never dared
Say out loud,
Shaking at the release.
And finally, when my arms trembled
And my eyes grew heavy,
I collapsed, embraced by
The curve of the trunk,
Held by that tree I had hated
That tree that witnessed me fully,
And still stood
Knowing, receiving.
Steady, unblinking,
Silent, but
Still there.
Years later, I look at that fig tree
And my heart stills.
For when I saw God,
And asked how He knew me,
He said, “Under the fig tree, I saw thee.”
thanks for reading,
- k