This time in my life right now is an interesting one. I'm making big decisions, and not only do I need to figure out what my goals are, but I also need to figure out how I am supposed to get there. Career, marriage, finances, insurance (?!), personal values, furthering my education... the decisions I am making now lead to bigger decisions that I will have to make soon.
Okay, okay... since "changing my mindset on the future" has been on the top of my To-Do List for a while now, I suppose I should start with this: I don't have to make these decisions, I get to! Either way, that's a lot of responsibility.
I finished the Book of Mormon this week. During church this Sunday, I had an impression to finish the Book of Mormon that day -- which meant I read seventeen chapters. It was relatable to me in a way that I hadn't connected before, and I wanted to write about it. To whoever is reading this: whether you are religious or not, these chapters probably apply to you in some way.
The chapter I wanted to focus on is Ether 6 (page 496 in the Book of Mormon). It's the story of the Brother of Jared. He and his people were instructed to build boats and cross the sea to the Promised Land. God taught them how to build the boats, and the boats seem like they were pretty funky looking: they're described as "tight like unto a dish", "light upon the water", "the length of a tree", and had pointed ends. It's hard to picture what these would look like, and the people back then had to have been a little nervous to travel miles upon miles in the sea on these alienesque barges.
Not only were they to travel in these pointy, tight vessels, but they were going to a place they had never been before. They were told that it was "choice above all the lands," and did not know much beyond that. But still, they prepared to go. After they had packed food and animals and everything they could carry with them they "set forth into the sea, commending themselves unto the Lord their God" (Ether 6:4). They went in faith.
During those days on the water, it wasn't all smooth sailing. Actually, it doesn't sound like it was very fun at all. It mentions several times that they were buried deep in the water, brought up again, and went through storm after storm. Here's the thing: it wasn't a small journey, either. It says they were on the sea for THREE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FOUR (344) DAYS.
Below are two passages that caught my eye (I've underlined the parts that stuck out to me):
"It came to pass that the Lord caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind... and it came to pass that the wind did never cease to blow towards the promised land." (Ether 6:5, 8)
Here, we are given the situation from the Lord's perspective. He knows the whole time that they are headed in the right direction -- towards the Promised Land. He knows that the furious winds are only helping them get there faster -- in fact, He sends the winds! But what about all the people cooped up in the strange boats? I realized, they probably felt like me. Maybe, like me, they were wondering at times if God knew them. Had He sent them out to sea and then forgotten about them? Did He understand how bad being tossed around hurt? Maybe, like me, they were starting to wonder if the Promised Land actually existed.
So maybe, like He did to them, God has sent all these furious and confusing and unsettling winds to me as a way to help me move forward in the right direction.
Elder Uchtdorf said, "The dots only connect behind us. They do not connect in front of us. We may not know yet why things happen, but eventually, we will. And then we will say with a heart full of gratitude and love for Heavenly Father, "Now I understand." In the end, all will be well."
I've felt the winds of life pushing me and pulling me every which way, and God gently reminded me on Sunday that He is the one who sends those winds. He sees the dots connect, and He knows what He is doing. It is the winds that qualify us for the promise.
The Promised Land might be different for people. Maybe it's a happy marriage, a fulfilling career, financial stability, or finding a field of study that you love. It's hard to know sometimes if you're headed in the right direction for where you want to eventually end up. What I think it comes down to is this: God knows what He is doing. If we remember Whom it is we need to rely on, then we will come to know that we have been led all along.