I wrote a comment yesterday, but I don’t see it. I wanted to add a comment about your Sister Chen, so I’ll just say that I loved what you wrote about your relationship! Beautiful!
This really hit home, Kimber! Deconstructing religion was incredibly challenging for me too—letting go of everything I once believed in initially felt like a void, but I soon saw it not as a hole but as a cup to fill. Embracing the Zen Buddhist philosophy of cultivating a "beginner's mind" helped me approach this new space with curiosity and wonder. This mindset has not only made life exciting but has also infused it with a sense of magic as I've reconstructed my beliefs. I've noticed that the more I embrace new possibilities, the more I encounter synchronicities—meaningful coincidences—that guide my way. It's inspiring to hear that you're finding similar meaning in those moments. I'm also touched by your experience with Sister Chen—laying wire flowers in her casket was a beautiful tribute.
I listened to this popular podcast for a bit after leaving the church: https://secularbuddhism.com/. That's where I first heard about the beginner's mind. The host, Noah Rashete, is actually a former church member. It's full of wisdom!
As always, I really appreciate your transparency and authenticity as you share your journey. I can appreciate this struggle of believing in wonder vs. becoming nihilistic.
I did want to share my perspective, and what I've learned about this through my own deconstruction. I think sometimes it's easy to slip into binary thinking, where it feels like our life's joys must be either amazing, inexplicable wonders from a higher power OR unemotional, scientific Neurology. I don't personally think it has to be either/or. Personally, I've started to see the science itself as magic.
Collective Effervescence, for example, doesn't feel clinical or Nihilistic to me, acknowledging it as a scientific reality doesn't feel inherently cynical. Our bodies and consciousness themselves are a wonder. Based on our best scientific evidence we have right now, it seems like the out of the stars--out of nothing--life began in all its forms. That itself is a gift, worthy of a lifetime of awe. Beyond that, out of all the ways we could have taken shape, all the ways we could have evolved, we evolved to love each other and live together. Plenty of animals do not. Plenty of them are solitary and feel no pull toward community. For humans, the communal desire is so ingrained that when we feel like we are having a collective experience, we feel euphoric. And do you know what? We don't fully understand it. That itself is pretty amazing.
My personal struggle with believing in tender mercies and miracles is that I never could explain the inequality of it. How does the same God who gives me a green light so I can get to work on time allow another innocent driver to be killed by a collapsing bridge?
I know this thought process isn't unique to me. Suffering and the fundamental l injustice of living is one of the main problems religion tries to explain--and struggles to. Often the explanations I've heard are that "they can handle it" because God never gives anyone more than they can handle, which, I think, unintentionally leads to a minor victim blaming mentality, or that "God's ways are higher than ours" and that sometimes the suffering is good for people. As a woman who grew up with a staggering amount of privilege, it doesn't feel fair for me to say that people *need* to endure the suffering that comes from war, violence, and depravity. Personally, I can't square the idea of miracles for me and tragedy for the other. But that's just me.
All of this to say (very long-windedly), that I think it's possible to appreciate wonder and magic and the unknown without conceptualizing everything in terms of God. I think a life that values awe and gratitude is possible regardless of one's belief system. In fact, maybe we don't need to conceptualize the wonderful moments at all--in terms of God or science--maybe we can just live them with gratitude for the gifts we don't fully understand. Doing that, I agree, is more fun :)
Anyway, sorry this is a novel. I'm very much procrastinating lesson prep. As always, thank you for your thoughts. your blog is so fun to read!
Kylie, wow, I so appreciate you! Thank you so much for your thoughtful and eloquent response! I think you’re right — it’s easy to slip into black and white thinking, which, looking back to my post, I can see that shining through. Thank you for your reminder that seeing science and our bodies and the happenstance of life in itself IS magic that can exist in our lives!
I also loved that you touched on the wide range of human experiences and tragedy. Your words are so thought provoking.
I so appreciate your perspective. Thank you for being here and for taking the time to share your thoughts. <3 it means the world!!!
I wrote a comment yesterday, but I don’t see it. I wanted to add a comment about your Sister Chen, so I’ll just say that I loved what you wrote about your relationship! Beautiful!
Love you! Thanks for reading 🩷
This really hit home, Kimber! Deconstructing religion was incredibly challenging for me too—letting go of everything I once believed in initially felt like a void, but I soon saw it not as a hole but as a cup to fill. Embracing the Zen Buddhist philosophy of cultivating a "beginner's mind" helped me approach this new space with curiosity and wonder. This mindset has not only made life exciting but has also infused it with a sense of magic as I've reconstructed my beliefs. I've noticed that the more I embrace new possibilities, the more I encounter synchronicities—meaningful coincidences—that guide my way. It's inspiring to hear that you're finding similar meaning in those moments. I'm also touched by your experience with Sister Chen—laying wire flowers in her casket was a beautiful tribute.
I have heard a bit about the concept of a beginners mind - I would love to learn more about it!!
I listened to this popular podcast for a bit after leaving the church: https://secularbuddhism.com/. That's where I first heard about the beginner's mind. The host, Noah Rashete, is actually a former church member. It's full of wisdom!
Sister and Brother Chen 🩵 I, too, will always believe in miracles.
Hi Kimber,
As always, I really appreciate your transparency and authenticity as you share your journey. I can appreciate this struggle of believing in wonder vs. becoming nihilistic.
I did want to share my perspective, and what I've learned about this through my own deconstruction. I think sometimes it's easy to slip into binary thinking, where it feels like our life's joys must be either amazing, inexplicable wonders from a higher power OR unemotional, scientific Neurology. I don't personally think it has to be either/or. Personally, I've started to see the science itself as magic.
Collective Effervescence, for example, doesn't feel clinical or Nihilistic to me, acknowledging it as a scientific reality doesn't feel inherently cynical. Our bodies and consciousness themselves are a wonder. Based on our best scientific evidence we have right now, it seems like the out of the stars--out of nothing--life began in all its forms. That itself is a gift, worthy of a lifetime of awe. Beyond that, out of all the ways we could have taken shape, all the ways we could have evolved, we evolved to love each other and live together. Plenty of animals do not. Plenty of them are solitary and feel no pull toward community. For humans, the communal desire is so ingrained that when we feel like we are having a collective experience, we feel euphoric. And do you know what? We don't fully understand it. That itself is pretty amazing.
My personal struggle with believing in tender mercies and miracles is that I never could explain the inequality of it. How does the same God who gives me a green light so I can get to work on time allow another innocent driver to be killed by a collapsing bridge?
I know this thought process isn't unique to me. Suffering and the fundamental l injustice of living is one of the main problems religion tries to explain--and struggles to. Often the explanations I've heard are that "they can handle it" because God never gives anyone more than they can handle, which, I think, unintentionally leads to a minor victim blaming mentality, or that "God's ways are higher than ours" and that sometimes the suffering is good for people. As a woman who grew up with a staggering amount of privilege, it doesn't feel fair for me to say that people *need* to endure the suffering that comes from war, violence, and depravity. Personally, I can't square the idea of miracles for me and tragedy for the other. But that's just me.
All of this to say (very long-windedly), that I think it's possible to appreciate wonder and magic and the unknown without conceptualizing everything in terms of God. I think a life that values awe and gratitude is possible regardless of one's belief system. In fact, maybe we don't need to conceptualize the wonderful moments at all--in terms of God or science--maybe we can just live them with gratitude for the gifts we don't fully understand. Doing that, I agree, is more fun :)
Anyway, sorry this is a novel. I'm very much procrastinating lesson prep. As always, thank you for your thoughts. your blog is so fun to read!
All the best,
Kylie
Kylie, wow, I so appreciate you! Thank you so much for your thoughtful and eloquent response! I think you’re right — it’s easy to slip into black and white thinking, which, looking back to my post, I can see that shining through. Thank you for your reminder that seeing science and our bodies and the happenstance of life in itself IS magic that can exist in our lives!
I also loved that you touched on the wide range of human experiences and tragedy. Your words are so thought provoking.
I so appreciate your perspective. Thank you for being here and for taking the time to share your thoughts. <3 it means the world!!!